New permitting system for “the Wave” will determine access based on number of OnlyFans subscribers

Ever since it was featured as the desktop image for Microsoft’s Windows 7 in 2009, the Wave has become one of America’s most popular hiking destinations. In fact, so many people flocked to see the unusual geological formation in Page, AZ that access soon had to be curtailed to minimalize impact on the area. The current system requires hikers to select their preferred dates four months in advance. Applicants pay a $5 fee that is not refunded, even if they don’t get a permit. Only 64 applicants are selected for each day out of a pool that can often include over 1,000.

In response to increasing dissatisfaction with the current system, the Bureau of Land Management office that oversees Coyote Canyon and the Wave will revamp the program starting in 2022. Access will now be granted based on the applicant’s number of followers on the OnlyFans platform.

“There was a lot of dissatisfaction with the current system,” said Marshall Woodson, a local hiker who claims to have been hiking the Wave since before Microsoft released Windows NT. “People felt like it was all random and that it was rigged against them, so the BLM opted for a more meritocratic approach.  Starting next year, the online application form will require those interested to include a link to their OnlyFans page, so the number of followers they have can be verified. This model does have a precedent in Runyon Canyon’s successful Influencers Only program of 2019.”  

Asked why OnlyFans was picked by the Bureau office to be the criterion for Wave access, Woodson said, “They considered other platforms, such as Vine and Myspace, and had nearly inked a deal with Friendster, but the opportunities presented by OnlyFans were the most promising. Now, in addition to controlling human impact, this new system will allow OnlyFans personalities such as @trapcookie_medusafeet, @baddie_with_no_daddie_piinky7 and @commonashsense to contribute a percentage of their donations to help preserve Coyote Canyon and the Wave so future generations can show the world how to do a headstand with lotus legs and extended arms.”

 

2 comments

  1. Ha Ha Ha Ha!  Good one, David! Do you mind if I send this to the GONE list? Best to you and yours, Mark

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s